if i can just turn back time, i’ll stay with these kind of memories..
My eyes are kinda saying “Hey you’re tired of crying, just stop already”
What do I really want? Do I ever wanted to live a life with “what ifs”? I’m still in the puzzlement why am I making myself suffer with thought i knew will not bring any good to me.. I wonder..
HOW FOOLISH I COULD BE.you’ve ruined it all, yes you. Look at the mirror you heartless woman.
I just want you to know that things like these happened unexpectedly. It turns out that I’ve hurt you enough to think that I am the one whose not really serious about what we have. But you know, deep down, right here, it hurts me a lot. It hurts me to think that I let you go this time so easily. Without thinking a lot, without asking for someone’s advice. Many reasons pushed me for this decision; studies, parents and in fact even YOU did something for me to pushed this through. I just wanted you to know that I am so glad to have had you. The memories we had, it won’t be forgotten and I won’t even delete the pictures or throw away the things you gave to me.
I want you to be successful. I want to be by your side as much as possible but you need to realize one thing: To do things for yourself. I want you to realize that it’s not the time for you to think about me, our future. I want you to take one step at a time to success. I have realized how much pain I’ve cause you a lot. Right now, as I typed these words, I start to cry. You know what? Because let you go just like THAT. I didn’t explain anything so concrete about how I turned out to be saying things like this and that. I am so sorry about that.
For now, it’s my love for my parents that pushed me really to this decision. I am madly inlove with you. Just so you know. I would settle down with someone like you. You are kind, patient, thoughtful, pure… You have lots of things I probably would want to see in a guy. But the love for my parents is so much to consider. I just want them to see me reaching something they want for me. They both work their ass off everyday, sometimes missing out time for their selves. I just want you to understand me.
I am so inlove with you. Again, I repeat that phrase. For example you’ve found someone new, I would never complain. It’s me who let you go, which really made me think a lot. These passed few days we rarely talk, and how I wish you could have done something about it. You know I’m confused, I overthink and how I wish you talked to me a lot so that my mind won’t be puzzled like that. On the other hand, it’s my decision. I chose this to happened. And how I feel the regrets coming in right now. The tears won’t stop. How I wish I can see you right now, touch, kiss, hug, hug you tight. I keep on messing things in my life. But of all the mess I made, it’s you who turned out to be the perfect mess I input into my life.
I won’t forget about you. Your humor and everything. I just want you to know that I keep on regretting this decision but it’s the best for both of us. Please be strong for yourself for now. Let’s meet someday, someday soon.